Interesting perspectives

[msss]

>Why did the chicken cross the road??
>
>PHILLIP RUDDOCK: I don't care why the chicken crossed
>the road it should be sent back to where it came from.
>Who knows what might happen if we keep letting any old
>chicken cross the road. We could be inundated with
>them. Send them to the farmer up the road a bit and we
>can pay him to deal with the problem.
>
>JEFF KENNETT: If the chicken did cross the road it
>should have been fitted with an e-tag and should pay
>the same toll as all other road users.
>
>STEVE BRACKS: Regional chickens should have the same
>opportunities to cross roads as chickens living in
>Melbourne.
>
>JOHN HOWARD: The chicken never crossed the road. And
>it was not forcibly removed from its mother! Anyway,
>that's a matter for the states and is of no interest
>to us. The United Nations should butt out.
>
>KIM BEAZLEY: There WAS a chicken and it DID cross the
>road. This is a deliberate act by the government to
>hide the fact that chickens continue to cross
>Australian roads.
>
>NATASHA STOTT-DESPOJA: What if it was not a chicken
>but a bantam? Minority sectors of our community
>shouldn't be discriminated against based purely on the
>size of their eggs and legs.
>
>EVELYN SCOTT: To demonstrate a commitment to
>reconciliation with Indigenous chickens.
>
>PETER COSTELLO: Accordingly to documentation submitted
>to the Live Foods Processing Authority, the chicken in
>question was uncooked at the time of its journey and
>therefore will not incur a GST charge. However, if
>that chicken actually crossed the road for profit,
>regardless of its raw/cooked status, the road crossing
>would be considered by the ATO to be a service for
>which GST will be imposed.
>
>PAULINE HANSON: Please explain.
>
>ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed
>that road?
>Is that what you're telling me?
>
>MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all
>chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or
>speckled, will be free to cross roads without having
>their motives called into question.
>
>GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
>crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken
>crossed and that was good enough for us.
>
>REV FRED NILE: Because the chicken is gay! Isn't it
>obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front
>of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other
>side'. That's what 'they call it: batting for the
>'other side' Yes, my friends.
>
>CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: to boldly go where no chicken
>has gone before.
>
>FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own
>eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you
>believe it's true?
>
>HANSIE CRONJE: What if I could guarantee that it won't
>get to the other side?
>
>FREUD: the fact that you are at all concerned that the
>chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
>sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?
>
>THE C.I.A: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see
>the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into
>the car.
>
>EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did
>the road move beneath the chicken?
>
>BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
>chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you
>define the word